I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
