I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
