Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
