wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize