i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize