I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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