that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was born a porn star she said
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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