I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
