After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
