I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
