god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
