Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
