Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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