i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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