does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
