and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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