people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
