I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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