That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
