Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
