Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
