he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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