Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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