The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
