Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
