she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
