He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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