Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i believe in u and ur pee
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize