Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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