just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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