Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
