Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
