Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
