i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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