God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
