Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
