Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
being pregnant is like rehab
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
