He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
