I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
