I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
