i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
