Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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