If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Congratulations! We have a period
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