im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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