8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
