Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
