What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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