The maid of honor just puked.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
