Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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