Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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