I heard we made out
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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