We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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