I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Panties = found
Randomize
