Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
