I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
