I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
