He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
