hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
