Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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