New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
