Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
