i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
