do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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