She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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