Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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