so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
