Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
